Like Looking into a River

The last few weeks have been a process of decompression after the strain of the final crunch at the end of the school semester. But now, not having the opportunity to run over to campus at will, I miss hacking away at my keyboard from the window view at the coffee shop. I'm taking some time off from school, financial stress and scheduling were murdering me. The acting classes I took were amazing, the teachers offered us so much. But honestly, this semester I was taught that Alexander never lost a battle, perfected my painting skills, and learned how to make a good mixed drink (ice always). My social gains were greatest, and in the cyclical fashion that life seems to play out, Feddy and I are back to being besties after a long hiatus, and unfortunately just in time for him to move out of our building, his house less than a bloc away isn't the same as one flight of stairs.

Edit/Paste

Casey and I made it to a taping of the Daily Habit at Fuel TV. Cut Copy played the singles. Found this video from the inside, pretty distorted, but you get the picture.

myspace.com/cutcopy

Trend Bender

I’m on my way to the Midwest on my first direct flight in months. The two chicks sitting next to me are so SoCal, from their Ed Hardy trucker hats to their surfer slang and drawn out vowels, duuuude. I’m pretty sure they’re stoned, although, that blasé, ‘whatEVER’ attitude seems to be an act more popular than intelligent one. I was lucky enough to score a window seat and have been thoroughly enjoying the XM satellite radio, since my dated ipod can get monotonous. Shwayze’s single even came on, which was pleasantly surprising. Their guitar/hip-hop brings me right back to LA, and was the soundtrack of second semester, it wasn’t that long ago when I was getting “Yooooo love..” texts. This past semester went by so incredibly fast, and I’m glad I made it through at least one year of college. I have to stop and say Jojo just came on the radio, I’m loving this ha. I hung out with Casey last night, we talked about living on our own, work, and plans for the summer. Casey is on of my most driven, hard-working friends and I have no doubt that she will be successful, she’s totally my inspiration.
The reality of summer hasn’t really set in yet, and I kind of hope it doesn’t. Instead of having a dying need to party since there’s no school, I’ve felt a relief from the stress of tests and past-due assignments and now a desire for work to keep me busy. I’ve taken this time to decompress and refocus my priorities.

This post has gotten boring really fast.
To make up for it; the King.

Good Morning Heartache, Whats New?

Emotional strength and an even temper are two traits that have always defined my personality. In the past two months I watched both evaporate and leave me an insecure, frustrated mess. I value my independence, but found the solitude of my apartment utterly depressing and deliberately filled my time with dishes, laundry and house cleaning rather than accepting social invitations from my friends. Self-doubting thoughts about my educations and job were coupled with confusion from unreturned phone calls. I figured my stress was rooted in pressure from impending final exams, calculating and paying taxes and family issues back home. But something wasn’t adding up, I had had these kind of stressors in the past but never had I reacted in such a dramatic manner. I was put on hold for a national commercial, which would shoot with David La Chapelle, and when I didn’t book it I promptly flew into a rage. If you throw a bitch fit, but no one is around to experience the wrath, did it really happen? I took my anger out on the treadmill. School was coming to an end but instead of looking forward to summer, I could only count down the weeks until my friends were leaving me. A melancholy feeling haunted me and I began having very realistic dreams of being physically paralyzed, which had me waking up in tears.

What I couldn’t stand the most is, I would cry over just about anything. I was sitting in the terminal waiting for my flight home from a Kohl’s shoot in Chicago watching the communal (close captioned) television when the Oprah show came on. Mama O was interviewing Tom Cruise and recounting his career and chatting about what a great actor and person he was. You know what happens, I begin crying. I never EVER cry, and there I was blubbering for no goddamn reason. This was the last straw, I knew my head was messed up but I didn’t know why. I retraced my calendar and came across a profound revelation; my antics coincided with the week that I began taking a certain ‘pill’. The pill had literally made me go insane, changed my personality and turned me into an emotionally desperate fembot. I threw them out the next day.

Moment of Zen

...Well said