Indie Rock

I've been horrible at maintaining this blog, but I guess that means I'm out living rather than blogging about what I already did. November kept me quite occupied. The incident with Johnny really came as a shock and I spent too many nights sitting up with questions swimming in my head. Acting has kept me busy busy, from castings, callbacks, holds, and shooting a part for the FX show The Riches, on top of perfecting a scene from Anton Chekov's The Cherry Orchard for class. Grant was away in Paris for some time, seeing the cities of the world, I am truly jelous. Dad wasn't around much this month either, off doing business on a global scale. I am so proud of him. Mom was occupied with the pets. Leila and I fought, I felt so guilty and mad at myself after. I'm scared watching her grow up, she is so strong and independed I don't know how to treat her, but I knew that this would come, the day that we were no longer sisters but best friends. I want her to open up to me, and I think its getting there, but I'm still waiting for that day. The Thanksgiving holiday brought all of us back together again. The town was the same, but different, small changes but changes nonetheless. The internet created an excited frenzy among our circle of friends, but as I sat next to a drunk guy cooing about how he finally had to tell me that he had a crush on me since high school three years back, I couldn't help but stare off at the swaying crowd at the house party and realize this was no longer who I was. My friends were at school, in the dorms, maybe still at home for community college, but I could see the paths already being forged. For each of us separate paths that led us slightly further apart with each step. For most, coming home was a long-awaited break and the first home-cooked meal and hot shower with privacy in months. For me, I couldn't wait to get back home. Back to my home, in LA. It was great seeing my family, good having dinner cooked for me and sleeping in, nice seeing all the friends who I consider siblings, but the hype of 'reuniting' was overrated, and the people I cared most about I had been in contact with while apart anyways. I couldn't stand the sedintary pace I found at home and craved to be back to my city lifestyle, if it can be considered that at all. November really showed me how alone I was. Okay maybe not alone, but independent to say the least. It was a realization of where I am in life and who I am, and that a very selfsufficient person.

I think Bob Dylan said it best:

May your hands always be busy
May your feet be always swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Foever young, forever young