Sweetheart, Bitterheart Now I Can Tell You Apart

The girls and I continued the holiday spirit this evening. We ordered in Thai food and watched the Christmas movie Love Actually. Its a sweet intertwining of lives and relationships, and I'm not usually one for love stories. Kinda made me wish I had someone to wrap my arms around. I've really gotten the hang of this whole independent living thing and now I think I really don't need anyone. I used to believe I could work out a career long enough until prince charming came and picked me up and dropped me into the middle of the cult of domesticity where I could become a happy Stepford. But therein lies my biggest fear; my life being defined by somebody else. I don't want to wait to find my happiness in someone else. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy now, in fact I'm quite content. I'm merely done with the prowl. I feel that, especially on a college campus, there is a never ending competition for attention from the opposite sex. We're in our prime and looking for passion, which many mistake for love. The quad a lunch hour is reminiscent of a forest of birds all looking for their mate; qualifications are the best feathers, the brightest colors, most expensive designer labels. If you're not dating somebody you're nobody. Even websites about who's hooking up with who are wildly driven by part fiction, part truth, part what everyone wishes were truth. So now all I look for is companionship, just friends. I think i've broken too many hearts for my own good. And I'm not talking about mine.