Dreaming is Free

There was an ad for a bank that ran a few years back that kinda stuck with me. It read: "Your college girlfriend called- she wanted to remind you that you were once broke and happy." Now living that reality its a little different, but for the most part holds true. Every day I look at my bank account wondering where all my hard earned cash is going. I'm finding that its much easier to spend than make. Making a living isn't the problem, its the expenses of having it good.
Its financing a lifestyle that makes it tough; its the sushi dinners and concert tickets and designer shoes that are slowly draining me, but damn those things make life so fun. I admire Casey so much. She's here working so hard to live in this expensive town and going to school and still manages to go out and have fun.
I went in for a job application at Total Tan the other day (only because Natalie works there too) and I couldn't get myself to finish filling it out. First because I began freaking out when I realized I had no previous job experiences or references to add. I've been working since I was ten, but not in a traditional sense, I'm not sure how well a manager will respond when they see a list of national commercials written down under 'last job'. Also, during the thirty minutes it took me staring at the application before I could even put my name on it, I realized that there is noting else in the world I can do besides acting. Not in a pigeon-holed sense, but rather, there is nothing else I feel so passionately about right now, I couldn't stand doing something I merely had to do. I don't want to just survive, I want to live and absolutely love what I do.
Now, all that sounds lovely, but back to reality I still have to pay my bills. Sometimes I think that drug dealers and prostitutes have it easy, they sell their goods and get real payed. And its not like they're trying to sell tupperwear, who doesn't want some drugs and sex. Its just easy to get down when worrying about money is added on top of a hard day at school. And you'd think I was worrying about retirement.
I think its time to look at things a little differently. Growing up many of us have a good life handed to us and we get jaded from getting everything we desire. Eva told me that back in her native Argentina college students leave home and actually lose weight rather than put weight on because they have little or no money to feed themselves. Forget the freshman fifteen.
Many of my friends so stressed out about money and finding a way to pay next month's rent that I think we sometimes forget to step back and take a breath. I decided that we need to start enjoying life every day at a time, every little thing, every smile, every flower, every song, because I know that when I look back I don't to remember the stress, I want to remember the fun times and realize how good we really did have it.